Scary Movie 3

The story begins in a parody of the Ring. Two girls, played by Pamela Anderson and Jenny McCarthy, are in a house watching television, and then go through a series of activities that reveal their ignorance. Then the phone rings downstairs and they go to answer it. It turns out to be Pamela Anderson's mother, and Jenny McCarthy goes upstairs before a series of ignorant activities in the kitchen occur. Pamela goes upstairs to find Jenny's head severely distorted, which then falls off. Pamela, showing her ignorance, constantly asks the corpse if she's okay. Just then, Pamela looks at the television, and Tabitha (parodying Samara) rushes to her from the inside of the television, then the camera focuses in on Pamela's breasts, then the Scary Movie 3 logo comes up.

Tom Logan a farmer/former priest is in bed. He keeps getting awakened by a girls constant screams, but bonks his head on a lamp whenever he tries to get up. The screaming keeps going as he urinates, but stops whenever he looks out. As he runs outside, he meets his brother George and runs through a field where he finds his daughter screaming because a crop circle, spelling (Attack Here) with an arrow pointing to their house.

Cindy Campbell is now the anchorwoman for "the Morning News", and she is covering the crop circles in Tom Logan's farm. When she is done, she runs into her boss, who criticizes her for believing the crop circle stories. He reminds her that the news is only for sex, violence and the weather, but she says she can sense danger, then crashes into a microphone and a coworker.

Tom walks out of his house with a sheriff, who tells him a neighbor group of kids probably planted stuff in the cornfield that destroyed it. Tom doesn't seem to care how it was done, only that it happened, and that he has sixty days to come up with a dollar and fifty cents to pay the bank. The sheriff calls him Father, but Tom rebukes her, saying he lost his faith, "that terrible night" (this is explained later in the movie). The sheriff attempts to comfort him, but her hat begins to randomly get wider, which he stares at, dumbfounded.

Cindy is picking up her nephew from school and meets her old friend, Brenda Meeks, who is now teaching at the school. They meet George, who instantly falls in love with Cindy, and vice-versa. He tells them about the rap battle he's going to, and it's obvious that Brenda gets angry at him, thinking he's just a wigger who doesn't know anything about good rap. When George leaves, one of the school children throws a box of crayons at the door, and Brenda screams "Now who the fuck did that?!".

Cindy and Cody walk to the car, Cody stops and Cindy asks if he's having a vision. He talks about a little girl with black hair who wants to kill her as well as other random things, as he likes to tell people. Cody says he sees a grown woman, and a boy but no father. Cindy gets exasperated at this and tells him that all they need is each other. Cindy starts driving, talking to Cody and then realizes that Cody isn't in the car. She drives in reverse to go get him, and hits him, causing him to fly through the air.

George and his friends, CJ and Mahalik, are at the rap club. George tells them that he's kind of nervous, and Mahalik and CJ start arguing about the difference between rats and mice. CJ says that George needs a hype-man, and George and Mahalik slam him into the wall unintentionally. Mahalik, due to his love for George urges him on and makes sure the anti-white crowd keeps their guns unloaded.

George is up next against Fat Joe who is up first and nervewracks George until Fat Joe finishes. George starts in a funny way in which he uses a mouth organ, followed each note with "Bitch" and "Ho", and then begins rapping. When he stopped, the audience cheered and the people yelling "George! George!" until he pulled up his Klu Klux Klan-like hood. Not realizing what he is doing, George gets thrown out the window and leaves rap for good.

In Brenda's house, Brenda was telling Cindy about the tape and she said she watched a week ago... tonight. Brenda starting playing pranks with Cindy until she said she will get the popcorn when suddenly the TV switched on automatically. Brenda switched it off and the TV switched back on. Brenda pulls the plugs but the TV again switched but with the well in which Samara/Tabitha was in on the screen.

Cindy, who has lost trust in Brenda, ignores her calls that a girl is coming out of the TV, dripping water all over the carpet and physically fighting with her. Samara/Tabitha wins the fight and kills Brenda behind the couch. Later on, Cindy was curious and walks in the living room, looks behind the couch, and then lets out an ear splitting scream.

Later, it shows a funeral scene for Brenda, in which, a visit from George Logan causes everything to go wrong, ending in Brenda's dead body exploding due to an electrical shock. Cindy then asks George out on a date. She then decides to investigate Brenda's death, so she looks upstairs and finds the tape Brenda mentions. She then watches the tape, (With shots more comedic than frightening.) The phone then rings, where, after a misunderstood sentence, a voice says; "Seven Days" as Brenda had said. Cindy then calls George, and he comes to her house as she asked. George's friend tells her to visit a friend, who can help her.

She then goes to the house of "The Oracle", who watches a copy of the tape, where they find a hidden image of a lighthouse and a fly which can be pulled off the screen by hand, which Cindy does. The fly returns to the screen, which is a shot of Tabitha's mother brushing her hair, and she seems to feel the impact of the strike. The Oracle and Tabitha's mother then get into a comedic fight through the television screen.

Cindy then returns home to find that her nephew watched the tape. The phone rings again, with a voice saying "7 Days", once again. The President is also getting serious about the aliens. The by watching the tape, she gets a glimpse of a lighthouse, which, when she visits it, is inhabited by a lonely old man(George Carlin, parody of The Architect) who has been watching her on various screens, and explains that his evil daughter had imprinted her spirit on the tape right before her mother threw her into a well.

As they return to Tom's farm, the aliens arrive, and try to get into the basement where they arrive, but are unable to open doors. Outside, the president negotiates the aliens, who explain that they are trying to stop the girl in the video after they picked it up on a satellite transmission, at first believing it to be Pootie Tang . Cindy, seeing a bunch of marbles collect on the same spot, realizes the well is down there. George chops open the floor. Tabitha appears, and after seemingly curing her spell by allowing her in to their "family", Tabitha turns back to normal saying that she's just messing with them. However the president walks in and knocks her into the well, which they then cover up.

After sealing the well, Cindy and George get married with their friends attending the congragation (including Brenda's mangled body). The newlyweds then get in a car and drive off, but realize they forgot Cindy's nephew, who is chasing after them. The car is put in reverse and stops just before hitting the petrified boy. He sighs, then is comically hit by a vehicle in cross-traffic.